


Think Of It As My Embrace

by phantomthief_fee



Series: Johntown [1]
Category: The Adventure Zone (Podcast)
Genre: F/F, Hadestown AU, M/M, musical AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-03
Updated: 2018-04-03
Packaged: 2019-04-18 01:05:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,203
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14201682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantomthief_fee/pseuds/phantomthief_fee
Summary: Two couples fight as winter approaches.





	Think Of It As My Embrace

I wanted to do more TAZ Hadestown.

[Here’s](https://t.umblr.com/redirect?z=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.youtube.com%2Fwatch%3Fv%3DffyJGdCsdYA&t=ZWRkMDcxMGQ3YTU0ZjA3ZGMxMWM4OWMzYWMyMTU3ODc2ZGU5NDU3MSxna2xKSzB3Mw%3D%3D&b=t%3Abf1mUcY3jG5LyWt2YecXMQ&p=http%3A%2F%2Fqueenofcats17.tumblr.com%2Fpost%2F172563721025%2Fthink-of-it-as-my-embrace&m=1) the original song. 

* * *

Merle imagined there had been a time, long ago, when he’d looked forward to escaping from the stifling presence of his father into the cool arms of his husband. But that had been a long time ago. Now returning to the Underworld only brought irritation and constant fighting. Merle knew he should be making more of an effort to at least try and get along with his husband, but he was so tired. He was tired of the factories, of the power grids, of all the material possessions John threw at him in the hopes of satisfying him. He didn’t want any of it. He just wanted John to look at him the way he used to, to take him in his arms and lay with him in their bed. But that didn’t seem like it was going to happen. And so they began to bicker as they always did.

_In the coldest time of year,_  
Why is it so hot down here?  
Hotter than a crucible  
It ain’t right and it ain’t natural

”John, it’s supposed to be winter.” Merle mopped at his brow with a faded floral print handkerchief. “So why is it so gosh darned hot down here? I don’t think it’s ever gotten this hot on the surface.”

_Lover, you were gone so long_   
_Lover, I was lonesome_   
_So I built a foundry_   
_In the ground beneath your feet_   
_Here, I fashioned things of steel_  
Oil drums and automobiles  
Then I kept that furnace fed  
With the fossils of the dead  
Lover, when you feel that fire,   
_Think of it as my desire_   
_Think of it as my desire for you!_

John smiled or, at least, he tried to. He never really smiled anymore. Whatever it was, it wasn’t smiling. Merle knew John’s smile. It was tired and a world-weary, but it always made him feel safe when he saw it. The expression John donned now was tight-lipped and menacing.

“You were gone for such a long time.” He cooed, striding over to take Merle’s hand. “I was so lonely down here by myself. I merely built a few things to keep myself busy. I made things of steel, oil drums and automobiles. Surely, you must be impressed. They don’t have anything like that on the surface, do they?”

“They do, and you know it.” Merle sighed and brushed John’s hand away. His husband’s hands were rough, although Merle knew John hadn’t done any manual labour in years. He’d designated it to other people, built an empire up around them. It had all gotten far too big.

_Lover, while you sing your song_   
_Winter is a-_ _comin_ _’ on_   
_See, I’m stacking firewood_   
_See, I’m putting by some food_   
_Orpheus, all the pretty songs you sing_   
_Ain’t gonna shelter us_   
_From the wind, the wind, the wind_

On the surface, two women were preparing for wintertime. Well, one of them was preparing. Lucretia had been working her ass off trying to get ready for the chill of winter. She’d been cutting firewood, collecting food, battening down the hatches. All the while, Lup was writing her damn songs. Lucretia loved her wife, she really did, but those songs weren’t going to keep them warm once the snow started to fall. And she told Lup as much.

“We need to start preparing, Lup,” Lucretia said, standing in front her wife. Lup sat in her chair, strumming at her guitar. 

“I will, ‘Cretia.” She promised. “I just need to finish this song.”

“Well…Alright.”

_In the darkest time of year,_   
_Why is it so bright down here?_   
_Brighter than a carnival_   
_It ain’t right and it ain’t natural_

“John, it’s the darkest time of year.” Merle squinted through the glare of the electric lights that seemed to be hung up everywhere. “Why is it so gosh darned bright down here? It doesn’t even get this bright on the surface.”

_Lover, you were gone so long_   
_Lover, I was lonesome_   
_So I laid a power grid_   
_In the ground on which you stood_   
_And wasn’t it electrifying_   
_When I made the neon shine!_   
_Silver screen, cathode ray_   
_Brighter than the light of day_   
_Lover, when you see that glare_   
_Think of it as my despair_   
_Think of it as my despair for you!_

John gritted his teeth. Always with the surface. That was all Merle ever talked about. The surface this and the surface that.

“You were gone for so long.” He purred, wrapping his arms around Merle. “I was lonely here by myself. You always tell me how you miss the sun when you’re down here, so I thought I could bring the sun to you. Isn’t it amazing? Brighter than the light of day!” 

“It’s unnatural.” Merle shook his head and pushed John away. John gritted his teeth and stormed away.

_While my lover sings his song_  
Everything I’ve saved is gone  
Nothing left upon the shelf  
Fire ain’t gonna light itself  
Now I see all the pretty songs he sings  
Ain’t gonna harbor me  
From the wind, the wind, the wind

It wasn’t getting any better. Winter was in full swing and they were worse off than they’d been in autumn. Everything Lucretia had saved up was gone. Their money, their food, their firewood. And still, Lup kept playing her damn song. She didn’t pitch in, she didn’t contribute in any way. It was so frustrating. Lucretia loved her wife more than anything, but she wanted to be able to live not just survive. They needed things to change. 

_Every year, it’s getting worse_  
Hadestown, hell on Earth!  
Did you think I’d be impressed  
With this neon necropolis?  
I recall there was a time  
We were happy, you and I  
In the garden where we met  
Nothing was between us yet  
Back before your factories  
Before your electricity  
Back before you built the wall  
It ain’t right and it ain’t natural

“John, this is getting out of hand,” Merle said, gesturing around to everything John had built.

“What are you talking about?” John asked. 

“ _This_ , all this.” Merle continued gesturing. “None of it’s necessary. Don’t you miss what we used to have? We were happy, weren’t we?”

_Lover, everything I do_  
I do it for the love of you  
If you don’t even want my love,  
I’ll give it to someone who does  
Someone grateful for their fate  
Someone who appreciates  
The comforts of a gilded cage  
And doesn’t try to fly away  
The moment Mother Nature calls  
Someone who can love these walls  
That hold her close and keep her safe  
And think of them as my embrace

“Everything I do, I do for you,” John said, his voice cold. “ _This_ ,” he gestured the same way Merle had. “This was all for you! I did this for you!”

“You didn’t need to do any of it,” Merle said. “I miss the man I married.”

“Well, if you don’t appreciate all I do, then maybe I should find someone else.” John’s face set in a stony mask and he turned to leave. 

“John, don’t leave.” Merle followed after him, sighing. 

“We’re done talking.” John snapped, slamming the door behind him.


End file.
